SOMELAMESITE ADMISSION PAGE

Hello and welcome, how are you feeling? How are you REALLY feeling? Not too good?

Do you have a shocking and disturbing secret that's been playing on your mind? Or maybe you just want to kill someone and you need to get it off your chest.

Are you a fat man trapped in a skinny mans body?

Are you pregnant with your cousins child?

DO YOU CUT YOURSELF EVERY NIGHT BEFORE YOUR MOMMA COMES IN TO SING YOU A LULLABY?

Admit it here, we understand, and you can remain completely anonymous.

or

NEED MORE HELP?

It has recently come to my attention that some of you admitters may have serious problems, and as a concerned member of the public, I am naturally concerned. Admissions like; " i eat toast in the mornin than drink oj", " I KILLED HUON! OH MY GOD I KILLED HUON!" and "im pregnant with my sisters kid!" concern me especially, and I feel that whoever you are, although you've admitted your problems, you probably need to seek more help, and I know just who can help you... Some call her "The Dream Doctor", "A miracle baby!", "New York Times most eligible bachelor 2006" But I like to call her Ellen Kim [ellie] daughter of the infamous Mr Ying. Although not a "qualified" [whatever that means in this day and age] doctor, she has helped me personally overcome many problems, from bed wetting to dream interpretation, she can help you in any aspect of your life. Why it was only yesterday I e-mailed her a particularly disturbing dream I had and she was able to help me with my night terrors within 24 hours. SCREENSHOT OF HER TENDER GUIDENCE.

So if you do feel you need help, please don't hesitate to e-mail Dr Kim at nimblefingers_@hotmail.com